Plastic Surgery Etiquette: Were People Too Mean to Kim Novak?

What Happened to Hollywood Actress Kim Novak?

Although it’s hard to say just how much surgery Novak has had, the public reaction to her appearance raises questions about proper plastic surgery etiquette. Society is appearance-conscious, and Hollywood even more so, but people’s plastic surgery decisions still deserve consideration and courtesy, whether it’s your own decision to have a facelift or other cosmetic procedure, or someone else’s.

Don’t Ask, Don’t Judge

Some people are happy to share that they’ve had surgery or have received a non-surgical, anti-aging procedure, such as Botox or fillers. Others would rather not let people know about their choice. If you see a friend whose appearance looks a bit better or who looks younger, you can compliment him or her, but don’t ask if he or she has had surgery or another procedure. Whether a person has had surgery or not, almost everyone likes being told that they look great.

If you do find out that someone has had surgery or an injection, don’t offer your opinion on the procedure, especially if you don’t think the results are that great. The decision to undergo surgery is a personal one. No one wants to be criticized for doing something he or she thought would improve his or her appearance. Don’t call a person vain after he or she has had surgery, either. You don’t know a person’s reason for deciding to get surgery.

Be especially careful not to comment on the results right after surgery. Most people will have swelling and bruising right away. Don’t tell them the area looks worse or act shocked about the way the face, cheeks, nose, or other body part looks. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes. If you had hyaluronic acid filler, Botox or an eyelid procedure and someone said something rude to you afterward, think about how you would feel. Keep in mind, too, that people are often dealing with a lot in their lives or have faced criticism of their looks before, as Kim Novak has.

Be Courteous

You can discuss the surgery if your friend mentions it, but do so politely. Ask your friend how he or she is feeling and if the recovery is going well. Offer to help out by bringing a meal or arranging for help at home. You can also ease tension by bringing up your surgery without others having to ask if you’re the one who’s undergone a procedure. You don’t have to mention your decision to everyone. For example, there’s no need to share with your administrative assistant or the teller at the bank. But if you haven’t seen a friend in a while, then see him or her after your surgery, you’ll get rid of the elephant in the room if you mention that you’ve had surgery, instead of having your friend guess.

Don’t Discuss Kim Novak or Other People’s Surgery

Just as you shouldn’t judge people who have had surgery, you shouldn’t gossip about them either. Think of the decision to undergo plastic surgery as confidential information, just as anything medical should be. If a friend shared that information with you, he or she probably wasn’t expecting you to share it with the rest of the world.

If you are considering eyelid surgery, fat injections, a facelift or another facial procedure, choose a practice you trust to care for you before and after surgery and to keep your decision private. Dr. Shervin Naderi is a double board-certified facial plastic surgeon who sees patients in Reston, Virginia and Chevy Chase, Maryland. Call our office at (301) 222-2020 in Maryland or (703) 481-0002 in Virginia to schedule a consultation today.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is it rude to ask someone if they’ve had plastic surgery?

Usually, yes. Some people are happy to talk about their procedures and others would rather keep them private. If a friend looks great, tell them so, and let them bring up any procedure themselves.

What should I say to a friend who just had plastic surgery?

Ask how they are feeling and whether recovery is going well, and offer practical help, such as bringing a meal. Don’t comment on swelling or bruising, and don’t give your opinion of the result.

Is it normal to look swollen or bruised right after facial surgery?

Yes. Most people have swelling and bruising right after surgery, so what you see in the first days is not the final result. After eyelid surgery, for example, patients usually look presentable in about 10 to 14 days, and the final result takes 3 to 6 months.

Do I have to tell people I had plastic surgery?

No. The decision is personal, and you don’t owe anyone an explanation. Some patients find it easier to mention it to close friends they haven’t seen in a while rather than leave them guessing.