The Oscars award ceremony always offers something for people to talk about. Last year, it was Anne Hathaway’s poorly cut dress and Jennifer Lawrence’s tumble. This year, it was a host of things, from John Travolt’s mispronunciation of a singer’s name to legendary actress Kim Novak’s appearance.
The latter issue has some wondering if people were being just a little too mean. The actress, who’s now 81-years-old, hasn’t made a film in more than 20 years and has suffered from health issues in the recent past, was roundly mocked and criticized for having what appeared to be extensive plastic surgery on her face. Donald Trump tweeted that she should fire her surgeons while others on Twitter laughed that she was presenting the award to the movie Frozen with what looked to be a frozen face.
Although it’s hard to say just how much surgery Novak has had, the public reaction to her appearance raises questions about proper plastic surgery etiquette. Society might be appearance-conscious and people in Hollywood even more so, but it’s still important to be considerate and polite about people’s plastic surgery decisions, whether it’s your own decision to undergo a facelift or other cosmetic procedure, or someone else’s.
Don’t Ask
Some people are happy to share that they’ve had surgery or have received a non-surgical, anti-aging procedure, such as Botox or fillers. Others would rather not let people know about their choice. If you see a friend whose appearance looks a bit better or who looks younger, you can compliment him or her, but don’t ask if he or she has had surgery or another procedure. Whether a person’s had surgery or not, almost everyone likes being told that they look great.
Don’t Judge or Criticize
If you do find out that someone has had surgery or an injection, don’t offer your opinion on the procedure, especially if you don’t think the results are that great. The decision to undergo surgery is a personal one. No one wants to be criticized for doing something he or she thought would improve his or her appearance. Don’t call a person vain after he or she has had surgery, either. You don’t know a person’s reason for deciding to get surgery.
It’s especially critical that you not say anything about the results immediately after the surgery. Most people will have swelling and bruising right away. Don’t tell them the area looks worse or act shocked about the way the face, nose or other body part looks.
Put yourself in the other person’s shoes. If you decided to get a facelift or Botox, and someone said something impolite to you afterwards, think about how you would feel. It’s also important to remember that people are often going through a lot in their lives or have faced judgment and criticism about their looks before, as has been the case for Kim Novak.
Be Courteous
You can discuss the surgery if your friend mentions it, but do so politely. Ask your friend how he or she is feeling and if the recovery is going well. Offer to help out by bringing a meal or arranging for help at home.
You can also ease tension by bringing up your surgery without others having to ask, if you’re the one who’s undergone a procedure. You don’t have to mention your decision to everyone. For example, there’s no need to share with your administrative assistant or the teller at the bank. But, if you haven’t seen a friend in a while, then see him or her after your surgery, you’ll get rid of the elephant in the room if you mention that you’ve had surgery, instead of having your friend guess.
Don’t Discuss Other People’s Surgery
Along with not judging other people after they have had surgery, it’s important not to gossip about them with others. Think of the decision to undergo plastic surgery as confidential information, just as anything medical should be. If a friend shared that information with you, he or she probably wasn’t expecting you to share it with the rest of the world.
If you are considering a facelift or other plastic surgery procedure, think of how you’ll want to be treated afterwards. Dr Jessica Kulak is an aging face specialist in Maryland and Virginia. Call her office at (301) 222-2020 in Maryland or (703) 481-0002 in Virginia for a consultation today.
